Random Thoughts. Wait....... I think?

Woot for Updates (I Guess)

2006-04-23T20:04:00.000-07:00

Well, just felt like typin so if anybody actually were to read this thing, they would know I was still kickin. Let's see......... Only little things here and there that are new. I finally had a sound system set up in my car. It was sweet! I could rattle my whole car on under half volume! Then I went off-roading at St. Joe (the legal off-roading spot around here) and well....... easy come, easy go..... the box was smashed to pieces during my off-roading. The subs and amp survived, but I need a new box. Oh well though. I did some sweet little stunts and actually had a little following of four-wheelers and a motorcycle. I should be gettin a pic of when I took my car off a four-wheeler jump and caught four feet of air, but nothin yet. Another downside was that now, due to that sub box, my rear door is out of alignment and it leaks bad in the rain. So I stuffed paper towels in there as a temp until I can get around to fixing it. Also, I am engaged to Andrea. We plan to move out to Hurricane/St. George this summer. I also had to have a little orange flag in order to go out to the off-roading area in St. Joe, so I just made a bracket for it and now it is pretty permanent. I think it looks kinda funny/neat. It makes it so I never get lost in a parking lot, because it sticks up higher than any car I've parked near. Let's see....... I also went camping with Andrea a couple times out at St. Joe, we had to cook in a lot of rain this last time. It was funny. Also, when I went off-roading, I rubbed the paint off of my wheel wells. It looks funny. Man, no body updates their blogs anymore. Least not anyone I know. Oh well, though. I guess I will just occasionally check back into this and update. Well, that's all I can think of for now, I will update as things come to mind. ~ Cary

Sorta Fun........

2006-01-02T22:57:00.000-08:00

Well, today was one of the first days that I actually went somewhere without Andrea. I went out to my friend's and we took my car off-roadin. It went well, except when we tried to get to the mines the "easy" way and got stuck because there was a dip that didn't allow me to get traction. Then we went up the "hard" way, which was supposed to actually damage cars, but since my car is small and light, I got up some speed and did a pretty cool little hop jump. My friend didn't think we were gonna go that fast so he didn't wear his seat belt, and as a result, he kinda got the seat belt connector in his butt..... yeah I thought it was funny. Then we took off down the road and hit these huge puddles until we finally got out to mines where we messed araound a bit. We had the whole area to ourselves... it was cool. The only problem is, that it wasn't as much fun as it could have been, because Andrea didn't get to go, even though her mom said she could. Robert said no and that was the end of that. She insisted that I still go tough, so I did, but I went and brought McDonald's to her after we were done off-roading. Then Alan and I just kind of hung out at Wal-Mart. Well, that was my day. ~ Cary

Weee?

2005-12-24T22:47:00.000-08:00

So today was kinda different. I finally got my car put back together, except I need to find and put in a couple bolts for the back seat to keep it rocking back and forth :p. Then I went and picked up a couple friends and Andrea from her house to give them a ride and steal Andrea away till ten. We dropped off our friends, and then went on the way home. Well it is dark out there even with my halogen lights on bright.... and it also happened to be raining. So, as a result, the road was hard to see. Well, there was this really nasty corner and I couldn't see it, nor were there any warning signs. I wasn't speeding, but when I went to put my brakes on, since i have yet to get my Goodyears put on, the car kind of found it entertaining to skid across and off the road and finally stopped less than a foot from smahing into a tree. After putting the e-brake on and making sure it wasn't going anywhere, I got out, looked at the car, and started laughing. Then, luckily a couple people stopped and this one guy had a truck and some chains and got us out of there. It was..... "fun". Oh well, Andrea at least learned to quit saying things because they usually happen. Tonight she said we were gonna get stuck somewhere out where we were, and lo and behold, we do. Oh well, then we went to my house and watched Van Helsing. Then I took her home and went home myself. It was a funny experience. ~ Cary

Oooh! Pwitty colors!!!

2005-12-23T23:11:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I decided to do an overhaul on this thing. Removed all the test results and changed the colors around a bit. AKA I was freakishly bored. Well that's that. ~ Cary

Entertaining Little Day

2005-12-23T01:40:00.000-08:00

So, today went pretty well. I finally got my car back today. Not long after I woke up, I went outside because Brad "wanted me to get something out of his truck" and when I opened the garage door, my car was sitting in the driveway where brad's truck shoulda been. Then, not too long after that, Andrea's mom dropped her by the house, and she helped me start to get enerything back into the car. We had a pretty fun time, cept when her dust allergy got up because of the carpet sittin in the garage for so long and when I accidentally dropped a ratchet on her knee while tryin to put in the driver's side seat belt, or the numerous times she hit her head on the roof. Other than those, though it went pretty well. During this though, she backed the Dodge out of the driveway and pulled it back up so we could pull the Sidekick in the garage. She did pretty well, except the brakes :p. We only got the carpet, front seats and seat belts, mirror, and new front Pioneer speakers put in. Tomorrow I have to get the console pieces, the headliner, all of the interior trim pieces, the rear seat, the subs, the rear Pioneer speakers (which require some metal cutting and riveting), and get everything wired all right and taped good, so that this type of accident doesn't happen again. Then after that, we went by her grandma's who is not too far away toget a cat kennel for her mom. During this time, Andrea actually put the car in first for me. Then we went to her "dad's" house to give her brother some Christmas presents. Let's just say that didn't go too well from the start. The guy will believe anything told to him and will deny anything he says if he thinks it will get him in trouble. So he was mad because I am "spreading a lie" and he was gettin mad because someone told him Andrea said that he had somehow bought an Xbox and PS2 for her brother making people think he has money and just doesn't wanna say anything about it (funny thing is, she has never said anything about video games whatsoever) Then, because he is a real.... to keep this blog from being "R" rated jerk, he started yellin about how he hates Andrea's mom and sayin all this crap bout her and made Andrea so mad, she just up and walked out. Then I said good bye to her brother, told him good luck with the video game, calmy walked out the door, and heard Keith (her "dad") start sayin that if people keep sayin "lies" about him that he is gonna kick their a$$, especially some littel boy (refering to me). Well, at this point, I had had just about enough of him and decided that a few choice words might be entertaing to tell him. Oh boy, did he get mad. I didn't even turn around, casually scratched my head with my middle finger (out of "habit") and kept walkin. This made him really mad, so he decided to call me a pu$$y, so I yelled that well I guess you are what you eat, which explains why you're such a dick.At this point, I was in my car yelling out the door, and he was gettin REALLY mad, which was pretty funny. He said that I am not allowed back into his house, which is a blessing. Then I said the thing that finally made him flip. I told him that I at least had the joy of a running car. He started off of his porch, and I had my car started up, so I just put in it reverse, slammed on the brakes, put it in first, and took off. He was in the middle of the road as I went around the corner. He had made me so mad. I feel like beatin the guy up, he's a skinny old man, but the problem is, I don't have much muscle on me anyways. Well that's enough of that. I am going to get off of here. I am wakin up early so I can finish puttin my car back together. When I am finally finished though, it will sound a lot better. :) Well, later days. ~ Cary

Yep Yep

2005-12-19T18:45:00.000-08:00

Well I forgot to put what all has happened between that weird night and the previous post and what is up now. So anywhos, on the friday before my birthday, Andrea and I went out to Wal-Mart and she got me some cool birthday gifts like Happy Bunny fuzzy dice, a really soft pillow, some shrimp, cookie dough and a movie rental. We had to unthaw the shrimp in our mouths cuz we forgot it was frozen and we watched the movie in the Suburban away from some form of unthawing of course. Then on Sunday she came over and we had cake and ice cream and I got some drawing stuff and I also got a pair of Pioneer 6x9's and a pair of Pioneer 4 inch speakers for the front. Then the next friday, I took her to Wal-Mart and we got her some jelly beans, Taco Bell, and a movie rental and a couple nick nacks. Then we went and watched the movie in, you guessed it, the Suburban. Then on Sunday, I went over to her house and we watched Little Nicky and then we had some cheese cake. She started to eat it with her face so when she lifted her face I decided that she didn't get enough so I "accidentally" smooshed it into her face :D 0:) Then I hadta go home. Also my car should be out within the week. The main computer gave out on it. Oh well. Nothin else new to report so I am outta here.

Why???

2005-12-12T02:24:00.000-08:00

I keep having these reoccuring thoughts go through me as I drift in and out of sleep. Why, I know not. These thoughts deeply disturb me as if I am actually living them at this current minute. I wake up very emotional, often weeping with little of the dream or dreams to know why exactly I am crying. Why can I not get to sleep? What is this bothering me so? The only thing that seems to lull my mind back into sleep is the vanilla aroma from the shirt Andrea gave me. These dreams, are they subconsious thoughts being portrayed throughout my dreams? Are they my fears? What causes them to bother me so on this day of my 18th birthday? Do I live in a false world? One that, due to my gullibleness and my problem of easily believing people has been forged from their lies? What lies beneath that is rising to the surface? It makes sleep nigh impossible for me; I know not if I dare go back into slumber for fear of waking again in an emotional confusion. I must figure out why these thoughts, these horrible thoughts and dreams haunt me so. I must find out why.

Yep.............

2005-12-06T16:23:00.000-08:00

So, I just felt like postin. Not too much goin on. Finally got my car into the shop on Friday, but I have yet to see it. I dunno if that means it's a bad problem or if he has been really busy and hasn't been able to get around to it, but whatever the case may be, he is going to wonder what happened to my car seeing as the only thing in that car besides the dash is the driver's seat and rear view mirror. I've been fixing the rust holes in it and had everything out of it. So..... yeah. Well, not too much else.... Andrea and I are doing great and the 21st will mark the 7 month anniversary. Yip. Also my birthday is Sunday and then Andrea's is next Sunday. I will finally be 18 though! Yay! Which means I can finally do things I want like buy bad things. Such as..... SPRAYPAINT!!! Or.......... FUEL INJECTOR CLEANER!!!!!! Yeah, I am one bad child.... oh well. Well, I better get offa here, I have nothing else to report at the moment. Later days. ~ Cary

Phew!

2005-11-03T19:20:00.000-08:00

Well, that last one was just a "fun" little vent. I realize that free is merely an illusion, but by free you must realize that I mean I will not have my parents making my decisions for me. Well, anyways, I sure do feel better.

Parents......................

2005-11-03T19:17:00.000-08:00

Yeah, they're supposed to mean well, but there are just some times that it seems they just don't get it. When you do something without asking, they usually say "we would have let you go to/do that if you would have asked", but when you ask something to the similar nature, they say "no". When you ask for a reason, they say "because I said so". They keep up this little "game", I guess you could call it, and sometimes they really cross the border. I skipped a couple classes this morning in order to go be with my girlfriend while she had her surgery. I have asked similar questions throughout my life, and I have always gotten "No, because I said so.", or "No." So, this time I didn't even bother asking due to my history. I am now being prosecuted because I wanted to be there for Andrea and just make sure that everything went alright. I could have skipped school with the intention to go off and destroy public property, or go smoke pot, or do things that I know normal people skip school for. Instead I go off to make sure Andrea is doing fine, and they overlook this and prosecute me as if I went off to go mess around with a couple buddies and off-road. They don't seem to see that if one of them had been in the hospital, the other would have wanted to have been there for the surgery. They seem to look at her and I as if we are two people that just spend lot of time together. They don't seem to realize that if it wasn't for her, I'd have literally gone off the deep end. Goths would have had nothing on me lol. It just seems like they don't really care what is going to happen as far as we go. I rarely get to see her, if at all, during the week, and if I am lucky enough to get a car, I can see her on the weekend. I feel like my parents try to keep us apart somewhat, but not too much as to keep us from hating them. At times such as this, I still love them, but I loathe them for keeping us apart. My parents seem to act as if they acccept us being together, but there are times that I sense that they hate what I have become. The sad thing is, I haven't changed too much. I like black more, listen to more different types of music (while still liking the others) and I have lost things while gained others. I just don't see why they think that keeping me from Andrea will help me "be a good boy" or "stay on the right track". I hate it. I am not even sure if this is the real reason they do this, but it makes me feel like they are training me. Like I am just some sort of dog, a dog that isn't learning to play fetch and needs "to be taught a lesson". There are times when parents are so restricting that they might as well be choking me. They need to realize that I need my space for my own decisions, because the time that I can make them without their say is coming up very soon. I am waiting for this time to come. A free time where, while I may be hindered still by parts of the real world, I will be able to make decisions regarding myself and my life without having parents breathing down my neck. I will be able to be by Andrea's side in times of need, without someone saying I can't or grounding me when I "am a bad kid". I just want to be free. ~ Cary

Well here's the latest..........

2005-10-22T01:43:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. (Those of you who still read my blog lol) Well, today, or rather, yesterday (the 21st in any case)was Andrea and I's 5 month anniversary. This time was actually a good one (since I was able to get a car (mom's Suburban) and not be grounded). We went and got her nails done at a salon or whatever those places are, and while this wasn't the most entertaining thing I've sat through, I at least got some gum by bummin a quarter from my friend. Then I finally chased my friends off (hit them with the car j/k) and we went to my house where I cooked us spaghetti. We then went downstairs (only because mom and Brad HAD to play Ghost Recon otherwise we woulda been stuck upstairs again) and we watched Dr. Suess's How the Grinch Stole Christmas. The cartoon version, which had Horton Hears a Who afterwards. But before we could watch Horton, Andrea got hungry so we hadta go upstairs and she wanted to eat just plain Oreo O's and then I made her a cup of hot chocolate. After Horton, we watched Against a Crooked Sky and by then she hadta be home so I took her home and then came home. That is pretty much all that is new in my life. Well Sianara! ~ Cary

Wow, I am Really out of the Habit...........

2005-10-08T21:47:00.000-07:00

It seems like I keep typin in this less and less lol. Of course I am still doin better than some people I know. lol. Oh well though, it just means I have less of a life than them. So, not too much goin on, just needin my car to be fixed again. What a suprise, huh? lol. Meh, oh well. Well, Andrea and I are doing great, on the 21st, we will have been goin out for 5 months. So, Andrea and I and a couple friends were hangin out on Friday and I "stole" a wristband with a Playboy bunny on it from her. AKA by stole I mean, she gave it to me. I had fun that day. We hung out at her house and watched movies (me and her and then my friend brock and his gf). Brock and I got conned into going and getting them McDonald's.... they did the whole asking all "cute" like and giving puppy faces. I hate how she knows I can't say no to that.... oh well though. I still love her. I just get her back by licking all over her face. She finds it highly annoying and I find it highly funny. *evil laugh* Yeah........ so today I was playin full-contact football with my sister and a few friends. (she wanted it to be full-contact) Long story short, Ashley went for a tackle and I though he was gettin away so I went to help her out and ended up hitting her with my knee by accident and breaking her nose. Oops. She now looks like a walrus. :D BTW, I am just agreeing with what she thinks. I also went and bought myself 2 12" Audiobahn subs with a little 200 watt amp (I need an 800 watt one) hooked into my car. Well that's about the gist of what's new. Well, I am gonna get goin. Probably be another month before I update. Meh, oh well. Well, that's it, I'm spent. ~ Cary

I Think I am Still Alive..................

2005-09-03T02:20:00.000-07:00

It's only been a little bit since I last updated..... cough cough. Let's see.... well so far, Andrea and I have hit and passed the three month marker, I got my car to run, only to have it split a radiator hose today.... right after I got to use it again (funny thing is that the hose blew right after I parked the car). I also got to go to Utah and visit everyone there, which was pretty cool, cept that things are kinda odd out there. I got to test out my grandparents' brand new ATVs out at a place called Sand Moutain, which was really fun because I gotto drive through a ton of puddles, which completely soaked me and my friend who was dense enough to let me drive near the puddles. >:) Not too much else entertaining going on. Just sittin here, early in the morning, thinking my socks smell like BBQ sauce for some odd reason (I must be hungry) and tryin to think of what has happened to me. Not a good combo. I know I will have left out several things, so I will just have to slap those in a different blog as I remember them. Oh, I also got the fun litle task of doing manual labor to repay a debt to a friend's parents because also while in UT, I got to use my grandparents' Sidekick and decided to take it off-roading. Well, it seems that whenever my friend and I get into my grandparents' Sidekick, it ALWAYS breaks somehow, usually from us being easily entertained. This time was NO EXCEPTION. We ended up popping a tire partially off of the front passenger side rim, which wasn't big, we replaced it with the spare and started on out way. Well, on our way home, we decided to take a little back road, which ended up poppin another tire.... so we ended up walking about 75 feet onto pavement and calling a friend to pick us up. Turns out we needed to replace three of the tires because one of the rims was bent so bad that the tire was beat up. It was wonderful. So, I learned that I give up off-roading in my grandparents' Sidekick. I will still try to in mine (if it ever runs good again). Well, not too much to talk about, I will update as necessary, AKA whenever I get around to it. I am outta here for now. ~ Cary

It's Been a While......

2005-07-24T01:20:00.000-07:00

Wow, I haven't posted at all for a little over a month..... sheesh. Well, let's see..... things are goin great with Andrea, we have hit and passed our two month marker (which, due to my car-less state was messed up....) but I saw her today and we went and saw The Fantastic 4, which was pretty good. Then, we went out to her house (Brad hadta take us) and on the way, I learned he might buy me an 80s or 90s Thunderbird for 1300 but I have found and old Chevelle (I believe) for 1200 that is really nice (except the paint which had no clear coat aka matte type paint) So, hopefully, I will have a functional car soon so I can be more free to do as I wish. Back on story type subject. Then when we arrived at her house, we watched some movie, Anaconda: Hunt for the Blood Orchid, and Shaun of the Dead, then we went outside for a bit and ran around for no reason until we both felt sick (really hot and humid out here and we were both in all black....... funny thing is, we both have blonde roots. :p) Oh well. We then went inside and almost died on the couch. :P Then we sat around talkin till her mom came home to take me home. I am now sittin in the basement typin a blog while talkin to people on MSN, and eatin popcorn from the movie and drinkin 64 oz of Kool-Aid I made lol. That was pretty much my day and what has been goin on other than I also got to go to a Shattermask concert. They are awesome. They are a punk-rock band out of St Louis. The concert lasted till bout 1:30 ish am and I kinda got home at bout 3 am......... needless to say, I got myself grounded. Now, for all of you out there thinking "oh he probably had the Suburban and was doin naughty things in it...... tsk tsk tsk." Well, you were right bout me havin the Suburban, but I actually drove out to Anddrea's house (she went with me to the concert) and we were dead tired and sat on her couch for a while, occasionally talking to her parents as they said things to us. When I got home though, it wasn't pretty. Brad keeps thinking I want to use the Suburban for bad things, but it's hard enough to sit back there, let alone DO anything lol. He's funny. I always ask if I can borrow one of the extra mattresses when I have the Suburban for the night. It doesn't effect him anymore. Well, that's all I can think of for the time being..... I am out of Kool-Aid and popcorn and my body is trying to shut down on me.... so I am going to end this. No need for death by electrocution of the keyboard from drooling on it. :p Well I'll update more as necessary. ~ Cary

The Month Marker

2005-06-22T02:17:00.000-07:00

Well, today marks the one month mark (kind of redundant) of Andrea and I goin out. I am so glad I am goin out with her she is awesome. I hope to start hittin the marks such as years with her. We had other plans for today, but they were smashed due to my lack of a vehicle so we did some paintball target practice with Kent agreeing to be the target. All was well until I wanted to test my close range aiming. I thought I'd missed him, but I ended up hitting the kid in the butt at a really close range. It was really funny! He even laughed bout it after a bit. Then we went to his baseball game which was pretty good. We watched "Master of Disguise" which was fine up until that fat mobile started to cook us alive on the leather. We had the a/c on and it didn't help. Lol, my mom and brad had kent and ryan spy on us to make sure we "were bein good" and when kent opened the door, he was like "are ya bein good?" I said, "No, better go tell mom we are havin hot, wild sex in the back of the Suburban." He laughed and went away. Then we watched the game (well I didn't know it had started but oh well) and it turns out Andrea likes to watch baseball so it was ok. We then went home and started "Finding Nemo" but then we got to her house and I had to say goodbye. That was how our one month went and I think it was pretty fun.

Felt Like Postin

2005-06-13T22:13:00.000-07:00

Well got back from my Army physical today for the second time and it sucked. Some old guy felt me up and told me to cough whilee he did it :(. But at least I got a cool back pack and black army shirt out of it:D. I also got a job reserved for me as a 63 bravo AKA a light wheeled vehicle mechanic AKA I work on any car that is under 8500 pounds. Which will be good for me. I also was able to convince my mom to let me get a tattoo because they (her and Brad) both have one. Well, okay okay, it isn't totally permanent but it lasts for about a week and it is what I want. It is a blue flame cuff around my wrist with a black bottom fading into the blue and lime green tips. I will just wait till I am 18 :p I got a lot of compliments on this fake one though from a lot of people at the physical area.Anywhos, I also got to go to Six Flags with Andrea which was pretty fun. We went on the water rides a lot and got really wet but at least this time she didn't wear white lol. We also went to the water park where I scared everyone with my extremely white legs. I also got myself burnt pretty bad on my shoulders and neck, but they aren't peeling so I am happy. We also walked around the park and found the most pimpin awesome thing on earth! It was a part dedicated completely to SCOOBY DOO!!!! It had pillows and everything! It was sweet! Except for the creepy guy in the Scooby costume.... :P Well, that bout wraps it up for me so I am outta here. ~ Cary P.S.: Andrea got a black Playboy bunny put on her lower back. It has a black bowtie instead of the normal white one.

The Dust Clears

2005-06-07T00:32:00.000-07:00

Well, not too much new. It looks like I am going to miss out on the hearse because my parents won't help me out by applying for credit so it is only $63 a month for me but I am hoping to contact the guy because no one even bid on the hearse at all and maybe have him hold onto it for me. I thought about a 68-70 Charger but I am poor lol. Anywhos things seem to be goin pretty good with me and Andrea and we are talkin bout gettin an apartment together when I move out because my parents aren't talkin like I am stayin in Utah next year. Just sittin here listenin to Mudayne and talkin a bit on MSN.... can't sleep lol even though I have summer school tomorrow, which I will be halfway done with on Wednesday. Only nine days after Wednesday and I am outta there! :D Oh! In good news my family, Andrea and I are goin to Six Flags this sunday! It makes me very happy. I also get to go to a Shattermask concert on the 8th of July. It'll be awesome. I just hope to death I can have a hearse to take to the concert. That would be awesome! Well, not much more to say other than a famous or not so famous quote: "Yeah, she's pretty much my soul mate. Maybe you'll find one for yourself, Napolean. Peace Out." and in the words of Kip, Peace out. ~ Cary PS: hahaha I just found a pun I didn't intend. I hope to death I can get a hearse! It made me laugh.

Aww crap!

2005-06-05T01:15:00.000-07:00

Ya ever had one of those types of miscommunications that suck? Well I just had one tonight. I feel really bad cause I am sure Andrea is sittin at home, bout ready to kill me and I can't even say I am sorry cause she can't be on the phone this late and she isn't on MSN. She called to see if I could give her a ride home cause she couldn't get one. I had told her to hold on, and I went and asked my mom if I could and it led to a really long argument both times I tried. When I got back on the phone, she had hung up. Turns out, as I found out from one of her friends, that she thought I had ignored her and now she is at home thinking I am a total jerk and there is nothin I can do bout it. I would just like to tell her I am sorry, but I don't think she will be any too happy with me by tomorrow and probably won't want to talk to me. All I can do is hope that she reads this and realizes that I was not, nor ever will ignore her like that. I just hope she can forgive me. I hate her not being happy with me, because it is the lowest possible point of happiness I have reached. I just want her to know I am truly sorry.

..................Sigh

2005-06-04T02:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I am officially depressed. It seems like nothing I ever do is good enough for my mom and step-dad. I will work my butt off at school, do my chores and try really hard, but all they seem to do is look at whatever little slip up I might have had, like getting a 7/10 on an assignment in summer school. It is really depressing me. They have had me grounded for some time for coming home a little late, which I understand. They said I couldn't see my friends or girlfriend. While this deeply pissed me off, I went with it for a bit. What my parents seem to not be getting is, I view my day like this: I go to summer school, come home and do my chore and maybe, if I am lucky spend some time with Andrea because it is the only time I am truly happy out here. I really enjoy spending time with her even if it just sitting around enjoying each others company just layin out on the tramp or porch. They seem to overlook that as being my happy little haven and seem to just enjoy taking it from me. They don't understand that when I am not with her, my existence in this place seems to be pointless. I may seem to be entertained out here with all my talk about cars and things, but it is only a happiness that exists on the surface, that soon fades away, leaving nothing but a hole. The type of hole that is filled when you are around someone that you could just be with forever as time passes you by, as the world goes on without you. That has been happening very little lately. It has just taken the happiness out of me. I feel like I am empty, wandering this earth with no point or purpose. I was just recently and temporarily released from this emptiness today, when I rode my bike to the Country Days carnival. I was going to take Andrea to this by using one of the vehicles that ran, but I couldn't because I have been grounded for a bit. So, I decided to "take a bike ride" to the carnival and failed to mention I was going with her. I was finally able to be truly happy and enjoy some time with her. I felt so much better. I left at about five and got home at about eleven, but that time seemed to go right by as if I had blinked and it had gone by in that instance. I was able to get a ride home from her dad, because my brother has beat the crap out of my bike and my front tire only holds air for so long now along with a lot of other things. I was also lucky enough to get to have Andrea come along and we rode in the back seat just enjoying the moment. It made me very sad to leave her almost like leaving a part of myself in that car. I watched as she rode off, and wished that I could visit tomorrow. I dreaded coming home, to the noises of fighting siblings, mother yelling, and overall chaos. I knew that I would be in trouble for something and I was right. It turns out that Ryan "forgot" I had said anything to him, and as a result I was instantly taken from my haven of happiness and plunged deep into the depths of a bottomless pit of depression and sadness. I felt completely miserable yet again, and knew that I had no hope of seeing her for a while. So here I am, sitting in the basement at two in the morning just wishing, hoping..... falsely hoping that I might be able to see her once again soon. To be lifted once again into my haven. But as long as my parents only find my faults, I feel that I shall never get there again. All I can do is falsely hope that one day.... one day I will be enjoying a warm evening just laying and talking about life, feeling whole again, feeling like I belong somewhere out here, feeling loved. ~Cary

Just a little forgetful.............

2005-06-02T12:37:00.000-07:00

Yeah I just realized it has been a long time since I last updated....... oh well. Well here goes. As you may figure out from the last post, I am looking into buying a hearse. It is nice. Anywhos I also have gotten myself a girlfriend. Of course knowin my luck, Zach has already told most of you everything he has heard lol which would be pretty entertaining. Also, I had the Army recruiters by my house today and we looked into various jobs. If I pass the physical good enough, I will be able to go with any job I want. :p Which ya know, would be kinda nice cause they will give you full tuition if you go to college while in the Army. That would be nice, but I dunno on all that fun stuff just yet. I have more important things to deal with, like detailing enough cars to be able to make a decent downpayment on the hearse. It is only $1500, but I want to keep my Sidekick as well, but just take it off of insurance cause I am sick and tired of it not running. It will be something small too, knowin my luck. Anywhos, I am gonna get off cause I gotta go to summer school tomorrow, but it won't really matter cause we are watchin a movie all day. See you guys later. ~ Cary

What an interesting day.............

2005-06-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

Wow, today was pretty interesting. Well ok most of it was boring, I went to summer school, came home and got on ebay to ask a guy a few questions about the car he is sellin cause I want to buy it. It is a 1974 Cadillac Hearse :D I am waitin on a pic of the engine and a good shot of the interior. If it looks good, then I am going to get it. I also went and took a free online tarot reading just for the fun of it. Here is what it said:

Love: The Star

Touchstone: The Devil

Career: The Pope

Sensuality is written all over you, dear Cary, and that clearly gives you great sex-appeal. The Devil and the Star will see to it that today is a day full of passion and eroticism. You know how to attract and charm people, you know how to touch. If you are a sensitive soul, take care, as you might be too successful for your own good today. Passion is playing tricks on you, and even in your wilder moments you are deep down a very serious person. In the professional sphere, you are proving to be very dynamic, but at the same time flexible - and that certainly stands you in good stead! The Pope attenuates the base devilish instincts and thus limits the excesses that the latter might engender. You can therefore be fairly confident that today you will be able to reach the goals that you have set for yourself. You'll be a winner all along.

Basically, what I got out of this tarot reading is that I am a horn dog lol. I have no opinion on this subject however and am now ending my post. ~ Cary

It's about time!

2005-05-19T19:25:00.000-07:00

Finally! Tomorrow is my last day of school! I also only have to go to two class hours since I did really good on my MAP tests. I can't wait! Course then I gotta go off to summer school and summer Dr. Risk, but if it gets me outta here, then yay! Not too much new. Car's still not runnin, went off-roadin in Brad's truck, lookin for new paint, and tryin to figure out what to do to celebrate gettin outta school. As far as I can tell, I am in a good spot to get out to Utah. My grades were pretty good, except the two classes I am takin in summer school, and I am doin good in Dr. Risk. So, it's a pretty good chance I'll be out there, which is a huge relief. I can get away from these people. Well I'm outta here. See ya. ~Cary P.S. I blogged Zach, happy now? ;)

Dustin off the Blog

2005-05-07T12:36:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a while since I last posted. Not too much has happened since then. I barely survived the MAP tests, I have been counting down the days till summer, still been attempting to fix my car (which needs a whole new ignition distributor), gave up on a second car, decided to lift my car 7" and put 33's on it, and a few other things. Thanks to Jill's mom, I now have a higher chance to stay out in Utah for my senior year. Only problem with it is, I hafta deal with Jill. ;) j/k Jill. Now Matt and Jared on the other hand.......... well okay theu're cool, and Matt has weird Mexican/Japanese games. I never thought Mexicans and Japanese people would bond to make a game. Oh well. Anything to make money I guess. So I have just been sittin here most of the day listenin to MEtallica and the like. I hadta wake up early today due to my "horrible" habit of forgetting my badge. Nazi-Bacon (Betz-Bacon) made me do a saturday morning detention. So, my neighborhood is doin this garage sale and man is it crowded! The streets have been compressed down to one lane due to all of the traffic on the sides of the road. It's kind of insane. Glad I don't hafta drive anywhere, but if I did I would just go on the fun unfinished road that no one goes on due to the giants ruts :D. Well, I am gonna go and record every number I can find on my ignition distributor so I can order another one. Cary out. (yes I was bored)

Update-ish-ness

2005-04-10T21:48:00.000-07:00

Not too much goin on in life. I have been workin on my car so it looks good for when my grandparents come out. I also have been tryin to get some money set aside to pay off the car. It's wonderful fun. Not really. Anywhos, I have just finished repainting my wheels to a pretty awesome anodized red. They look really nice and shiny. They sure beat the purple or primer that they have been. I also have been lookin for a Corvette, but I have decided to give up on that. Instead, I found an older Chevy truck that has a 12 inch total lift on it, and learned that it will BARELY be street legal in Utah and that's only cause they recently passed more lenient laws, thank heaven. Also new in my life, I was pressured into a relationship a while ago, and the nightmare is almost over. It sounds kinda mean, but this girl really creeps me out! In other news, it is MAP review this week. Yay. NOT. MAP is the Missouri Aptitude somethin. I don't remember what the "p" is. But iit has a very fun, four hour long essay section! WEEE! The only nice thing is, I will only have Betz-Bacon once in the next two weeks. After this week, we have the week long MAP tests. Very "fun" two weeks ahead...... oh well though. At least the weather has been really nice and as soon as I can get my car running again (the spark plugs, wires, and distributor cap need replaced) I am goin off-roadin. :D I am lookin forward to it. Well, after that fun little blog, I am outta here! ~ Cary P.S. ZACH GET ON MSN MORE. EITHER THAT OR EARLIER! Thanks!

An overview of Easter.

2005-03-28T21:53:00.000-08:00

Well, here's an overview of my first, and hopefully last, easter in Missouri. I am horribly sick from about 6 pounds of chocolate and I still have quite a bit to go. We had lots of deviled eggs (my personal favorite) and I was able to buy Gran Turismo 4. That was the highlight of my Easter because there is no Easter car show out here. So I made my own in GT4. I have bought several muscle cars such as a 69 Camaro and 70 Charger and a few really nice sports cars like a 69 Corvette Stingray and a Saleen S7. It was semi-entertaining cause I got to pretend I was driving them. :D In other words, I had lots of fun entertaining myself over spring break and Easter with that game, but tomorrow is back to school day. LUCKILY, it isn't a Betz-Bacon day. That would be the WORST way to start school again. Anywhos, thats' bout it on my Easter. Deviled eggs, GT4, tons of chocolate, oh and ham. Can't forget the ham. Hopefully I'll be out in Utah next year! :P ~Cary

Update on My Life

2005-03-26T01:44:00.000-08:00

Hey guys! Been a while since I've been on here! Had some serious comp trouble. Got rid of 84 viruses and 57 ad ware and spy ware things as well as several "corrupted files". I also freed up 17 GB of space by going through my music/movie files and slimming it down from 1200 to bout 350. The comp is nice now. Anywhos, not too much goin on in my life. Just gettin a little pissed at a kid in my weight lifting class. He keeps talkin trash and it makes me wanna just beat him down, but I am too passive. The guy just needs his arms broken maybe. I don't understand his kind of people. They just have to make themselves feel better by makin fun of other people..... why? I dunno. Oh well though. I just won't let it bother me. Anyways, on a better note, if I can do good in the last little stretch of school, my mom will take out a loan for me to buy a Corvette off of Ebay. I am lookin at somethin close to a 74 or maybe an 84. Just depends. There is an awesome orange 75 I really like, but it will be gone in a couple days. Same with an awesomely clean 84 I found..... oh well, I'll just look at what I can choose from at the end of school. Well, just sittin here in my honor band shirt which I recently unpacked. It's actually kinda comfy. Oh, and just so you don't become scared, I am fully dressed don't worry lol. Well, no shoes..... Anywhos I finished eating 2 dozen cookie dough circles and man, am I sick..... bleh. I'm still hungry though lol. Anyways, not much else new in my life..... just been sittin around bein bored. Well, I am endin this. Maybe that guy makin fun of me needs to lay in the road for a bit right before I come to school...... I might accidentally not see him....... *evil laugh* and accidentally run him over repeatedly. Anywhos now I am really endin this. ~Cary

Well, it was fun until.........

2005-03-10T00:25:00.000-08:00

PHEW! Got that last post out of my system. I feel quite a bit better now. That had been botherin me for a while. Man, today was bad. I was home sick all day which is good if I am feeling sorta sick, but I was so sick I slept till three o'clock at which point I woke up just to dry heave...... the only upside to today was that I missed a Betz-Bacon day. That made me happy. The main downside to today was that after that I felt better and went off-roading, this time on an old back road by my house. It was fun, caught some air hit some mud..... then I smacked the unseen hole. I now need to go and get my tires balanced and rotated, at which point I am also putting my new Goodyears on. I am puttin the white wall on the outside. The downside to all this is I now am spending money that was goin towards the 10.4 inch monitor.... oh well though. I'll just hafta spend like 8 hours on my step dad's truck detailin it to make up for the money. So for a while, I am just goin to stick to muddin as opposed to total offroadin especially around that terrain.... Well, that's my little update there. ~ Cary

Look it's a goth! Look! It's a stereotypical person!

2005-03-09T23:43:00.000-08:00

What is the point of people being stereotypical? I mean, you see a person drivin a car that doesn't look the best and most likely people will assume them to be poor. You see a guy in a trench coat, he must be packin some sort of weapon or he is a goth. You see a run down El Camo, some scumbag must drive it. Now I am not sayin that these stereotypes are not wrong, they are just not always right. I think it is wrong how people can think they instantly know you by how you dress or what music you listen to. People should not assume things till they get to know someone better. Now I know I am guilty of some stereotypicalness towards people, but I don't really care. I will talk to em regardless. I find it interesting to get to know people even if people stereotype them as a freak or weirdo, because in reailty, we all are freaks in our own ways. People need to realize stereotyping isn't necessarily true and need to not think that a guy in a trench coat is gonna steal from the store, is carryin a gun, or is a goth. I went in to Value City the other day lookin for a new trench coat, cause I heard they have em there for cheap and mine is a little small and the color, which is an army green, isn't my favorite. I had people actually stare at me and grab their cildren and walk away like I was going to pick their children up and stuff them in my coat and run away. Of course I am sure if I found the trench coat I want, people would constantly ask me if I was carryin any weapons or drugs. I want a black trench coat that is about one inch off of the floor, and I want to die my hair black as well. People just are stupid sometimes. If they would take the time to know the person as opposed to think they are all that and can instantly know them just by lookin at em, and then judge them according to how they think they are. They just need a good slap in the face and maybe a good beat down till they get some sense that maybe a person's personality is what makes them how they are, not what they dress like or what music they listen to. Those just help a bit after you know them. What is the world coming to when people think that they are better than everyone and can judge them at a glance? I am friends with what people might call weirdos, freaks, goths, or scumbags, but if you get to know them, they are just semi-normal people. I mean sure, a couple of em are a little hyper, but who isn't every now and then? We pesonally don't really care what people think, but man, the looks you somtimes get for how you dress........ just makes ya wanna beat em down and show them the real you. Heaven forbid you dressed how ya did cause ya liked how it looked and didn't get judged. The guy you see walkin down the street in punk clothes and spiky hair with lots of piercings might just become one of your friends if you get to know them better. I know that has happened to me. Saw a guy, looked completely odd, with his blue mohawk and spike earrings, but now he is a really good friend of mine. What would most people think if they saw a 1964 Impala with black tinted windows, 100 spoke gold rims and some hydraulics goin down the road? Oh, look, it's another poor, drug-dealin Mexican drivin his car. For all you know that might be a pretty well off business owner that just likes how lowriders look and drive. This world is goin to hell in a handbasket as far as stereotyping is concerned. Get to know the person. That's all I have to say. Don't judge a book by its cover. ~ Cary

Just Felt Like Postin..........

2005-03-07T00:41:00.000-08:00

So, just sittin here listenin to the soundtrack off of the second Inuyasha movie..... time to let my mind wander. My weekend was ok. I put some JB Weld on the back of my car's bumper to put the broken parts and the good part back in alignment. Now it needs to be sanded, have Bondo put on it, and the whole thing needs to be painted black. I am not going to go through the whole "matching" of the red crap. Right now though, it is 1/3 primer and the rest is the red/black combo. It is SURE to get all the girls............. fine fine I am making myself feel better lol. I also learned I can't put my remote start/alarm in due to the lack of a good wiring diagram with the wire gauges in it. I learned it will be about $200 to get it installed because of the whole manual issue. So I am sellin it on Ebay and I am going to get a 10.4" flip down TV screen instead. I also went off roading in the unfinished cul-de-sack at the end of my road. :p I almost got stuck cause I didn't think it was gonna be as deep mud as it was and my passenger side got stuck..... so I got out in about mid calf deep mud and locked my hubs, got in, shifted it into 4 wheel drive and gunned it outta there. It tooks some effort though..... I had my heater cranked and my a/c fan on so the engine wouldn't overheat. It warmed up quite a bit anyways. My passenger side is covered in mud now, but my driver side is fine, except the rear bumper. It looks really funny. Anyways, that was my weekend. Little fun things here and there, but as they say, all good things come to an end...... I have Betz-Bacon tomorrow, well later on today technically........... talk about a crappy fun ender lol. Well, it's almost 1 AM so I am gonna end this. ~ Cary P.S. Yes midnight is 12 AM

Wow............ my life is exciting!

2005-03-02T22:45:00.000-08:00

Well today was another uneventful day. Except for the fact that I took a personality quiz and learned that I happened to have the same personality as the main character of my favorite anime show, Inuyasha. It's cool. To me anyways. I used the image and what it said and put it in my template. It might take a while to fix :p, if I have a problem lol. Anywhos not too much new, just felt like typin a blog. I survived another day with Betz-Bacon. Barely though. She seemed really irritable today like she didn't get her drugs or somethin, but hey I don't know or care, so whatever. Yeah..... oh, I am going to host a Halo 2 "tournament" tomorrow :D. Which basically means the couple friends I have and I get together and blow everything up that we can :p. That is the extent of my plans for the weekend. Sounds like so much fun........ I might go cruisin, but I dunno. I still need to put my alarm/remote start kit into my car :p. That might be the highlight of my week. Well that's my little piece for the day. ~ Cary

Oops............

2005-03-01T23:16:00.000-08:00

Hey. So today was a pretty normal day. Watched Napolean Dynamite in my third hour class which is Geography. I liked that hour..... anywhos, so if you haven't noticed my page has yet again changed. My friend Jared redesigned it for me (thanks Jared). I also bought a blue flame lighter off of Ebay today that has the Full Metal Alchemist (it's an anime show) symbol on it. I love blue flames....... anyways, the reason my page was redesigned only one day after the first redesign was that, in my not being good with html-ness, I seemed to have forgotten several things such as the post a comment part, the live link part, and a lot of other things. So Jared helped me out and totally redid it for me. I really like it now. In other news, I am still waiting on the door handles, I go back to Betz-Bacon tomorrow (no chance of a sub twice in a row), it is early out on Thursday, and no school Friday. I also was wearing two watches today on my left arm for no apparent reason. One was an anodized red and the other was an anodized blue. I like the blue one better though. I am also making little business cards so I can get word of my car detailing business out so I can make some money to put into my car. :D I hope all goes well there. Anyways, that's pretty much all I have to say. ~ Cary

Weeeee........ That Was a Fun Day

2005-02-28T20:34:00.000-08:00

"Oh goody. Another crappy Monday and I have that witch of an english teacher, Betz-Bacon." That was my first thought upon entering the high school at which I currently go to. My first thought of the day was "Why is my mom waking me up this early on the weekend???? OH CRAP! It's Monday!!!!" So as usual, my Monday was started out a little off. As I thought about what classes I had today, it just got worse. I have Lifetime Sports, which is a cool class, but then I go to Anatomy and Physiology (the teacher doesn't know anything), then I go to Algebra B (they have a totally different grading schedule out here), then I go to hell (aka my english class), but ending the day is ok, I go to Graphics and Engineering, which counts for College as well as High School credit.I trudged my way from Algebra B to English, expecting the worst. My teacher is a feminist freak that is on some sorta drug but I can't pin her to it. She hates my friends Jason, Chibatto and I horribly. We are scared to ask questions cause she'll attempt to kill us cause anything we ask "is stupid". Anyways.... as I went to class, dreading the moment, I walked in the door and saw the most heavenly sight I have ever seen in that class room. A SUBSTITUTE!!!! Someone must really love me because that made my day the best Monday I can remember since I moved. So my day went extremely well and I was very happy. Not as happy as I could have been because I am still waiting for my interior door handles to arrive so it will quit blowing freezing cold air from outside onto me since I am missing the front and rear door handles on the driver's side of my car. So today went very well and I am very happy. As you may notice, if you've been here before, I have totally redone my blog page. I did it myself using little html things I learned from reading internet stuff, looking at the html on the made ones on the site, and practicing. I like the new look of the page. Let me know what you think with a comment please. Well that's all I can think of for now. I'll let you guys know if anything else pops up. Have a good day/night/evening/morning/whatever........ ~ Cary

My Weekend and Other Random Stuff

2005-02-27T23:15:00.000-08:00

Hey. Me again................. I just read Zach's newest little blog thing and for starters I didn't throw you off a hood Zach! I just stepped on the brakes and you just happened to fall off........ yep. That's my story and I'm stickin to it. So anyways yeah. Man, my mom won't let me buy a trench coat.... I dunno why either. Oh well. So yeah. My weekend went by with the most exciting part being when I used a blue Sharpie to color my air selector bulb in my car so that it glows blue at night. It is VERY exciting out here. I make lots of money bein a pimp and my ride is PIMPED out. Well okay the whole pimp thing was a lie, but man I wish I had the money to pimp my car out! That'll take a while. I also got free chocolate bars from JC Penney. They were a little dark for my taste though. I ate em anyways. So out here is just as boring as Utah has become for my friend (Zach). There are lots of people I talk with but I never do anything with them. I go cruisin every now and then to get tips for my car but that's bout it. Well, I'm gonna end this now. Remember, if it says "warning keep away from children" listen to the label. ESPECIALLY if it is on an old man! ~ Cary

My First Blog

2005-02-27T22:40:00.001-08:00

Wow. I made a blog. I must have no life............... oh well. So yeah. Hey I'm Cary, as several of you know, but here is a little fact that little of you know. I have a wife and an 11 year old adopted child! Ok, fine, it is just a thing my friend, her sister and I say to creep people out or confuse them. It's fun. Anywhos......... this is my first post. I don't have TOO much to say. So yeah. Well so yeah it's really confusing..... there's this girl out here that I think likes me but I am not sure. It is really confusing..... she is "engaged" to a guy, but is thinkin on breakin up with him and she said she likes me but I am planning (hopefully..... freaking grades are goin downhill) to move to UT.... I mean I have tried to sort it out in a 10 hour long phone conversation that lasted till 6 AM, but I didn't get too far.... Oh well. I guess I'll get this figured out SOMEHOW. Dunno how though. Maube I oughta take my friend, Zach's, advice and give up on girls........ I mean heaven KNOWS it'd save me on money! I hadta spend $220 on a tux! :p. Like I'll use that often. Oh well......... I dunno........ some help and/or insight might help me out here. Thanks ~ Cary